How to find and vet potential swinging partners

man with two girls on sunny day

Finding new couples to swing can feel exhilarating. But at the same time, it can also become a stressful experience. That’s because introducing a new couple, or individual, into your relationship impacts your life in a variety of ways. There are, of course, safety concerns. Also, we must account for relationship dynamics that when thrust off course can ruin the fun.

Vetting a potential swinger couple partner is an imperative step in preventing unnecessary fallout. If you vet your swinger partners, you’ll increase your odds at experiencing a fruitful connection both mentally and physically.

But how do swinger couples vet other swinger couples? What are the pillars swinger couples should look for in one another?

Do They Prioritize Boundaries?

Without question, boundaries are a core component of the swinger lifestyle. Without boundaries, a swinger experience risks falling apart.

Its simple, if a swinger couple you are vetting doesn’t prioritize boundaries for themselves, they won’t for you and yours.

You should always inquire into the details of their agreed upon boundaries. What are their limits with other swinger couples. Ask them if they’ve been in situations whereas another couple didn’t respect their boundaries. The idea is to incite impactful dialogue centering around boundaries, both mental and physical.

This conversation should be the core vetting component. The dialogue should be detailed and involved.

Without firm, communicated boundaries, a swinger experience risks going dramatically wrong. And that’s not what you or yours are looking for. Boundaries also help swingers establish trust and honesty in their experiences.

What’s Their Hygiene Status?

Hygiene in physical relationships even beyond swinging is a big deal. No one wants to physically interact with partners who don’t shower, or fail to incorporate basic cleanliness into their daily habits.

Vetting hygiene isn’t easy because a lot of vetting occurs over video. If it is possible to meet the swinger couple in person, that can help tremendously.

If not, you can ask them to see their apartment or home. Some folks may blur their backgrounds, ask them if you can see where they live. A dirty person often lives in an unclean place. This isn’t to say that disorganization is dirty. However, if you see old dirty plates and fast food bags lying about, that’s a red flag.

Moreover, it’s perfectly fine to set expectations on hygiene. You can express your own hygiene protocols that happen prior to meeting a swinger couple; for example, showering, brushing teeth, and using deodorant.

Did you meet them on a Legit Swinger Lifestyle Dating Site?

The days of meeting new swingers in brick and mortar situations still happen, but much less frequently. These days, swingers make use of swinger lifestyle websites to connect with potential fun.

But if you’re using a website that’s ripe with nefarious characters, you’ll likely meet a poor selection.

Always make sure your swinger lifestyle dating website is a legit online meetup destination. Does the website offer help guides for swinging? Are people more prone to asking you for personal information? That’s not good, folks. When you attend swinger events, do others validate the swinger dating site?

How Long Has The Couple Been Together?

couple in st patricks day attire

This may feel a bit too personal, but it’s a great way to learn more about the couple you’ll potentially swing with. Couples who have been together longer tend to take swinging more serious. Some new couples may embark on swinging as a reaction to saving their marriage. That’s perfectly fine, but sometimes emotions run high during distressful times and the couple may not be ready to truly swing.

This line of dialogue also helps you get to know the couple in a deeper way. We understand you may not be in the market for new best friends, however, it’s important to take serious any new swingers you introduce into your lives.

You can gain insights into whether or not the couple is ultimately happy. You don’t want to get involved with couples who bring drama and stress into your life. The entire point of swinging is the exact opposite of stress.

What Got Them Started In Swinging?

Understanding why a couple turned to swinging helps you further learn about the couple and their motivations. Some couples may have avoided divorce, others potentially met under the terms of open relationship ideology. Understanding this component of a couple’s relationship offers insights into what they may expect from you.

Ask Them To Describe Their Ideal Swinging Experience

Finally, you should ask them to describe their ideal swinging experience. And likewise, be prepared to describe yours. Be honest here, it is important to not worry about “driving them away.” With the advent of swinger lifestyle dating sites, there’s way more swinger fish in the sea. The goal should always be to discover the right partners for your relationship.