Many couples turn to the swinger lifestyle to reap the it’s vast benefits. The benefits of swinging, which sometimes feel counterculture, are becoming more increasingly accepted.
Although we man the ship of one of the larger swinger lifestyle dating sites, we don’t pretend that there aren’t emotional challenges involved with swinging. We believe that its imperative to understand those challenges as a way to vet swinging as a lifestyle for you and yours.
Understanding both challenges and benefits gives a couple the knowledge to forge a path forward with an open relationship, or decide it’s not the right path. Knowledge, in the case of swinging, is power.
The Emotional Benefits
The relationship rut.
We’ve all been there.
Ruts infect relationships of all types, even friendships and coworkers. But couples of all sorts experience downswings in emotional energy all the time. You get used to one another. You begin to take the other for granted, and they, you. Its a common, almost predictable, event.
Turning to swinging helps infuse a relationship with life even before the swinging happens.
Many people believe that the benefits of swinging occurs during a swinger meetup. But that’s hardly true. While connecting physically with other swingers most certainly equates to a fun time, the actual emotional benefits come prior and after the event.
To swing, couples must communicate both desires and boundaries. In general, couples in marriages and dating struggle to communicate desires, particularly those of a sexual nature. And that’s not something we should look down upon. We are inundated with sexual communication shaming throughout our culture. Conversations regarding sexual desires between consensual adults often feel taboo to most people.
The process by which couples find themselves in a swinger scenario reveals improvements in overall communication about sex, desire, and boundaries. This process is therapeutic as a journey.
Moreover, the act of swinging can improve feelings of security in the relationship as bizarre as that may seem.
Why would physically being with another person while your signifigant other is in the room, often partaking in the same relations, strengthen the security of a relationship?
Simply put, the couples learn to trust through repeated exposure to their past deepest fears and insecurities. You and yours go home together, you make dinner, you desire one another, which results in a reality that nothing changed when other persons entered your relationship bubble.
But its not all roses. There are challenges.
The Challenges
The same influencers of swinger benefits also serve as challenges. They say we experience incredible improvements in our lives when we expose ourselves to discomfort. This could serve as lengthy digression, but it’s a matter worth exploration given swinging for most people offers initial discomfort.
When you are in a relationship rut that’s likely based off shallow, potentially non-existent communication, the act of communicating is initial discomfort.
When communication ramps up, two people begin to peel back the layers of a relationship. That’s mostly good, but its naive to avoid seeing where this could go wrong (wrong being subjective). When couples open up, they may find they weren’t meant for one another in the first place. That’s a agonizing feeling initially, but clearly, it paves the way for a better future for both persons.
Opening up communication with anyone, even your coworker, can feel treacherous. This discomfort is a primary challenge when embarking on a swinger lifestyle. There’s no good way to sugarcoat this sentiment.
But as mentioned, most good things in your life will come from stepping out of your comfort zone. Talking about swinging with your parter unquestionably qualifies as discomfort.
There are further challenges. For example, during the first swinger meetups, no matter how much you’ve communicated prior, you’ll probably feel at minimum awkward regarding the introduction of new persons into your physical relationship. That’s normal and natural. You should practice visualization prior to the first time so you’re not left feeling too overwhelmed.
Feeling safe and secure with your partner during swinging comes with experience. The more experiences, the more you learn that nothing bad comes out of skirting cultural relationship expectations and standards.
Its All Worth It
Nothing good comes out of our comfort zones. In fact, our comfort zones, as it turns out, result in an over 50% divorce rate. That’s astounding and in a way, a narrative that’s unsightly enough to warrant change.
We aren’t saying the swinger lifestyle is right for you. We’re saying that its worth exploring and reaching your own decisions with your partner. At worst, you’ll ramp up communication which is a core aspect of all relationships.