You’re happy. Truly happy. You’ve discovered the empowering, exciting, and fulfilling experience of being in an open relationship. To date, it feels like the best relationship you’ve ever had. But there’s a problem: not everyone is celebrating your happiness. Some of your friends aren’t on board.
They don’t understand your open relationship, and worse, they don’t support it. Their questions, judgments, or even silence can feel like a cloud over your joy.
So, why is it so hard for some friends to accept non-traditional relationships? In this post, we’ll explore the reasons behind their reactions and, more importantly, what you can do to address them.
Why Friends May Struggle With Your Open Relationship
At first glance, the reasons might seem obvious. Society has long been shaped by traditional relationship norms—rules and expectations that many people take as universal truths. When you step outside those boundaries, it can challenge their worldview, causing discomfort or even conflict.
One of the most common misconceptions is that open relationships are just a form of cheating. For instance, if you’re a man in an open relationship, some of your partner’s friends might assume you manipulated her into it for your own benefit. They might label you as a cheater who’s found a clever excuse to be unfaithful. This perception can foster distrust or even hostility toward you.
But judgment isn’t the only barrier. Believe it or not, jealousy can play a significant role. When friends see you and your partner thriving—exploring new romantic experiences while maintaining a happy, healthy relationship—it can stir envy. If their own relationships feel stagnant or lack excitement, they might view your happiness through a lens of resentment, seeking ways to discredit your choices.
Another major factor is confusion. Open relationships remain misunderstood by many. Some friends may form inaccurate, even exaggerated ideas about what your relationship entails. Without clear information, these misconceptions can shape their opinions and prevent them from seeing your relationship for what it truly is. This confusion is often amplified as you and yours are immersed in the open relationship world, including our open relationship dating community as well as hanging out with people who dig this lifestyle. It can become easy to lose awareness of the real world that surrounds us that isn’t so catering to this lifestyle decision.
So, what do we do about all of this?
Communicating Your Relationship Choices Effectively
Open and honest communication about your relationship is crucial. When addressing friends or family, a confident and transparent explanation can help dispel their misconceptions. Focus on calmly sharing your perspective without adopting a confrontational or defensive tone. Confidence is key—when you explain the value an open relationship brings to you and your partner, you help normalize something that may seem unconventional to others. Highlighting the positive aspects can make your relationship easier to understand and even relatable.
However, it’s important not to come across as seeking their approval. You’re not asking for permission to live your life; you’re simply explaining your choices. Confidence in your tone and message reinforces the idea that your relationship is healthy and intentional. Seeking validation, on the other hand, might inadvertently signal uncertainty, which could create further doubts.
Tailoring your message to your audience is equally important. For example, if a friend views your open relationship as cheating, you might frame the conversation around trust and mutual consent. Use relatable examples to bridge the gap, such as saying, “Just like you and Martha found therapy helpful during tough times, we’ve discovered that this is how we strengthen and grow our relationship.” Connecting your experience to theirs can make it more digestible and less alien.
Don’t shy away from sharing the positives. Highlight the trust, honesty, and communication your open relationship fosters. Let them see the happiness it brings to your life—not as a justification, but as a way to challenge their assumptions with real-life evidence.
Finally, take a moment to address stereotypes. Many people’s understanding of open relationships is shaped by inaccurate portrayals in media or exaggerated stories. Without overwhelming them with details, counter these misconceptions by painting a picture of how your relationship works in a healthy and balanced way. By showing the normalcy in your relationship, you can help reduce their skepticism and encourage open-mindedness.
Setting Boundaries: Knowing When to Step Back
Recognizing when a conversation is simply not productive is your best friend. If you’ve done your best to explain yet the conversation continues to find itself in a place that’s judging you or even hostile, you’ll want to get out. Gracefully change the subject and move on. The fact is, you’ll never change this persons mind and you’ll only waste more and more time in a whirlwind of aggravation. And that’s not healthy.
That said, you’ll want to establish clear boundaries in the event they keep asking questions. Make sure to firmly shut down any disrespect.
Beyond that, you’ll want to focus solely on friends and family who ARE supportive. There is no need to waste your time with people who don’t care to try and understand or support your relationship. Maybe they aren’t really your friends in the first place.
Ultimately, your real friends will always support you and do their best to understand your life choices. Sometimes, less is more when it comes to friends.