There’s a sense of irony involved in the importance of boundaries when it comes to open relationships. The irony derives from the idea that most people in traditional relationships perceive open relationships as some sort of free-for-all intimacy frenzy. But in actuality, open relationships stipulate more boundary setting than many are accustomed.
Without proper, mutually agreed upon boundaries that all parties follow, the open relationship‘s success rate becomes as feeble as that of traditional relationships that often end in tumultuous divorce.
Boundaries and open communication are the key to open relationships. They are the engine, the soul, and the circuitry of open relationships.
Let’s take a more expansive look at at the concept of boundary setting in open relationships.
Understanding Boundaries: Why Are They Essential?
Boundaries set limits in any relationship. Boundaries always exist in all relationships whether we realize it or not. When we don’t realize it, that’s the recipe for relationship failure.
Boundaries define how we engage, particularly on a romantic or intimate level, with others.
There are different types of boundaries to consider.
Physical: Most people think of boundaries that involve physical contact. In reality, this isn’t a wise way forward, but physical boundaries remain an important consideration. Establishing what physical acts are permissible is ultra-imperative to the open relationship. You don’t want confusion here. The good news is, physical boundaries which involve intimacy are more digestible, easier to understand, points.
You can’t say the same for emotional boundaries.
Emotional: Emotional boundaries are rulesets that allow, or disallow, certain types of non-physical connections. Some are obvious, such as telling another person you love them. But some are less obvious, like calling someone because you had a bad day. Defining emotional boundaries are often the most difficult, arduous ones. This is why some open relationships have a rule of complete non-communication with outside partners.
What makes setting boundaries essential?
Boundaries are essential to self-preservation. They help us lessen our chances to hurt someone emotionally. When boundaries are clearly defined, it’s easier for us to navigate the open relationship world with less drama. Many people don’t realize how much boundaries benefit them, they commonly only consider boundaries in relationship with others as a way to limit their own potential let downs.
Boundaries, when observed, help us prevent feelings of resentment from all sides. They facilitate healthy relationships of all types.
Negotiating Boundaries
In an open relationship, the act of negotiating boundaries in important. We don’t always love the term, “negotiating,” because it implies that not everyone gets what they want entirely. Open relationships aren’t the same as buying a car, you need to make sure you are happy with all points.
It’s essential to understand that while compromise is valuable, sacrificing one’s core needs can lead to resentment and instability.
In open relationships, the process of setting boundaries is not a one-time event but an ongoing dialogue.
The goal of setting boundaries is to make all parties feel secure and loved.
When discussing boundaries, empathy for one another should be the highest priority.
Articulating desires should be the next priority. When we consider articulating points, it’s important to practice and write out what it is you want from a relationship prior to a conversation. Organize your thoughts. Make sure their concise and digestible.
The goal is to strike a balance where both individuals feel their emotions are acknowledged.
Conclusion
Boundaries are the key to all relationships. The observance of boundaries are the reason open relationships are often successful. Traditional relationships marred with instances of infidelity failed to observe boundaries. When transitioning to an open relationship, the concept of boundaries should be prioritized.