Nothing feels worse than funneling your feelings, emotion, energy, into a big old void. No matter what type of relationship you’re in, one-sided experiences don’t feel good. But there are ways to handle these things.
Whether you’re new to open relationships or have been navigating non-monogamy for a while, it’s important to remember: unbalanced connections can happen anywhere. Just because you’re in an open setup doesn’t mean your emotions become immune to disappointment.
The good news?
You’re not stuck in limbo.
Let’s talk about how to manage one-sided feelings without losing your self-respect—or your ability to connect again.
First, Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
You may feel embarrassed, or even a bit foolish, for catching feelings when the other person isn’t giving much back. That’s okay. You’re human, not a robot.
Feelings happen.
And in open relationships, it can be especially tricky.
The other person might still enjoy your company, text back occasionally, even hook up now and again. But if you’re carrying the emotional weight and they’re keeping things surface-level, it’s time to call it for what it is: imbalanced.
Pro tip: Don’t gaslight yourself. If it feels one-sided, it probably is.
Define What You Actually Want
Are you looking for a primary partner? Hoping for something long-term? Or were you open to something casual but still wanted mutual effort and attention?
Open dating has a spectrum of expectations. Clarifying yours gives you a baseline for what’s okay—and what isn’t.
If you’re constantly waiting for them to text first, initiate plans, or meet you halfway emotionally, it’s a sign your wants might not be lining up. And that’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to choose what happens next.
Ask—But Don’t Beg—for Clarity
It’s fair to ask where you stand. It’s not fair to beg for their affection.
Try a simple check-in:
“Hey, I’ve noticed I’m doing a lot of the emotional lifting in our connection. Are we on the same page about what we’re building here?”
Their response tells you everything you need to know. If they dodge, downplay, or dismiss it, you’ve got your answer. You don’t need a dramatic breakup scene—just a shift in energy and attention.
And if they do care but didn’t realise how you felt? That opens the door to recalibrate.
Don’t Confuse Chemistry for Compatibility
You can have wild chemistry with someone who’s just not capable of giving you what you need.
This is common in open relationships where physical and emotional layers can evolve at different speeds. You might click in bed, laugh over drinks, but still feel like you’re loving harder than they are. It doesn’t mean the connection was fake—it just means it’s not balanced.
Reality check: Chemistry is exciting. But compatibility is what carries you.
Redistribute Your Energy
If you’ve been pouring all your emotional bandwidth into one person, step back and diversify. This doesn’t mean you need to rebound or distract yourself—it means remembering who you are outside of this dynamic.
Open relationships are often about abundance. Don’t let one mismatched connection become the centre of your emotional universe.
See friends. Go on new dates. Reconnect with your hobbies. The less you fixate on the imbalance, the easier it becomes to reset your standards.
Don’t Stay Because You Hope They’ll Change
This is a big one. Can’t tell you how many times we, like many others, have done this bad dance.
If someone isn’t showing up for you now, don’t fall into the trap of waiting for their transformation. Yes, people grow. But they usually grow for themselves, not for the people waiting in the wings.
Don’t make your emotional needs a long-term project for someone who isn’t even trying to meet you halfway.
You Deserve Reciprocation
There’s no gold medal for sticking around in a one-sided relationship. Your love, attention, and time are valuable. And if someone can’t offer the same—whether it’s due to poor communication, different goals, or emotional unavailability—it’s not your job to carry the weight alone.
You deserve connections that feel mutual, balanced, and safe to invest in.
FAQs
Is it common to feel one-sided emotions in open relationships?
Yes, absolutely. Open dynamics don’t shield anyone from emotional imbalance. These setups still rely on mutual interest and respect.
How do I know if my connection is one-sided?
If you’re always initiating contact, making plans, or feeling emotionally unfulfilled, it may be one-sided. Pay attention to how much energy you give versus how much you receive.
Can a one-sided dynamic become balanced over time?
It’s possible, but it requires open communication and mutual willingness to shift the dynamic. If one person isn’t interested in growing the connection, it’s unlikely to change.
Should I stop seeing someone if it feels one-sided?
If you’ve communicated clearly and nothing shifts, yes. Protecting your peace is more important than holding out hope for emotional change that may never come.
Is it needy to want emotional connection in open dating?
Not at all. Wanting care, attention, and consistency isn’t a weakness—it’s part of being human, no matter what relationship model you’re in.