Mending Communication Gaps in Modern Dating

Couple eating dinner at rooftop restuarant

We’ve all been there. Your relationship communication breaks down and suddenly, you’re on the skids. Once you’re in a bad relationship spot, it can be tough to fix. But it’s certainly not impossible.

Modern dating is ripe with communication challenges. Learning how to fix these issues in open relationships and beyond is essential to a relationship’s survival.

Here’s some ways to mend broken relationships and get back on track with healthy communication.

Common Reasons Why Communications Break Down

To understand how to fix the problem, you might better understand how the problem develops in the first place.

There are many reasons why communication in modern dating breaks down.


One of the biggest communication hurdles is our digital face. What i mean to say is, texting, messaging, etc.

So much gets lost in translation with digital communications. Its a tough world to navigate. Once things get awkward, people are less apt to realize it and make a call. Better yet, meet face to face.

Misunderstanding in digital communications are probably the central reason why many couples argue. It’s difficult if not impossible to discern someone’s emotions or intent by digital scribes. And worse more, emojis are used more and more in place of words, making things even more bizarre.

So it stands to reason, talk more, text and message less. If and when a communication fire begins, at minimum, call the person. The best way forward is face to face interactions. Facial expressions help us all better understand the true intent of communications. Its less likely that a face to face communication gets lost in translation.

One of the biggest challenges, or absurdities, is that modern dating requires digital communications. For example, if you want to find open relationships near you, you may consider using our open relationship dating site. In this way, digital communications helps you connect with more like-minded people traversing the modern dating world. But you can get too much of a good thing. Because it is digital communications, you must be aware of the pitfalls cited earlier. At some point, when you are all comfortable and feel safe, face to face is the way forward for the health of your communications.

Again, to confirm, technology has vastly advanced our abilities to reach new open minded dating persons. It’s helped turn small ponds into big oceans of dating opportunities. But there will always be a need for face to face interactions.

Maybe You’re Not Good at Communication

So beyond technology, its always possible that you or your partner(s) simply aren’t good at communicating. Let’s be real, communication is a skill and an art. Many people aren’t great at it. And that’s for a lot of reasons.

There are many reasons why people don’t do communication well. Some people have a difficult time sharing their emotions. Maybe they grew up in the “be seen not heard” household. Some kids are taught that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. The list of reasons for poor communication skills is long.

Solving The Communication Issue

Solving a communication issue isn’t going to happen overnight. You must be committed to an ongoing improvement effort. But if you’ve read this far, it is safe to assume you’ve got energy for fixing your relationship issues.

Effective communication is the key to health and longevity in a relationship. Its about understanding and being understood. And that requires effort from all parties.

Here’s the steps in improving a communication issue:

Identify the issue.

Clearly define what the communication problem is. Is it a misunderstanding or lack of communication? Are communication styles colliding? Get to the source of the issue which sparked the issue.

You should also understand if the issue is new, or recurring. Figure out the issue. You might need to do this alone if your partner is too upset to help.

Choose a Right Time, Place

You’ll need to discuss the issue face to face. If you are separated by regions, this may be using video technology. But you’ll need to visually see one another. If you’re trying to solve it through text, the problem likely only gets worse.

Choose a time that’s good for all of you. Choose a place that is comfortable, without distractions, and no other people.

Actively Listen

This will be your biggest mission. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next, don’t go in loaded up with your grievances – instead, go in prepared to listen and learn. This will have a dual effect of helping you better understand the issue and disarming the speaker.

Your mission is to understand the issue, not win a game. If you are trying to win, don’t even go, you can find better things in your life to do.

Find Common Ground

This is the best case scenario.

If you do the above, you are working towards finding a common ground. And this is where things improve.

Beyond this, try to understand the indicators of communication breakdowns in the future so these things don’t happen as frequently. That said, communication issues are a part of life. When you resolve one, you’re better for it.