The heart of the open relationship is multiple partners. Whether that’s an additional long-term partner, or multiple and unique partners throughout the relationship, there’s always more than two tangoing in an open relationship.
And with more people comes more potential for both happiness and complications. It’s important to learn how to balance multiple partners so that there is more happiness in the group as a whole.
So let’s get started.
Understanding the Dynamics of Multiple Partnerships
To begin, you’ll need to understand the working dynamics of an open relationship. We’ll remain general here for the sake of simplicity, but clearly, these dynamics and functions change as the types of relationships and number of partners change.
There are several dynamics consistent through any open relationship:
Time
You only have so much time. If this weren’t true, you’d watch every TV show and movie you like. You’d eat all the meals. You’d go on all the vacations. But life reels us in through the concept of time.
Multiple partners take up time. And time isn’t infinite as we’ve already pointed out.
Energy
Like time, you only have so much mental and physical energy. When you enter multiple partners into the equation, you’ll get consistent reminders that your energy is far from endless.
Included in energy is emotions. Giving emotion, whether it’s love, friendship, or even anger, isn’t infinite either. It’s also energy. And it’s capped.
So how do we work this all out?
Time Management Skills
In the end, it all comes down to time management skills. We don’t want to sound “business’ish” when it comes to romance, love, and intimacy. But in the end, you gotta avoid “juggling” and begin “managing” your relationship time.
Unlike monogamous relationships where time is shared primarily between two individuals, open relationships involve navigating schedules and emotional needs across several connections.
It doesn’t have to be even…
This is the most essential piece of it all and, as well, the most difficult for most of us to digest.
We tend to look at time and energy as a flat, linear experience.
If one partner gets 4 hours, the others must get the exact same amount.
Thinking like that will not only drive you bonkers, but it also short sells all partners and yourself on the critical aspect of quality. If you’re pushing to make it even on time, you’re diluting quality experiences for all.
Each relationship may have different needs and expectations. The focus should be on making the time spent together meaningful, whether it’s a short daily check-in or a longer, more intimate weekly date.
Transparent Scheduling
You can’t manage time without a schedule. And the transparency in that schedule is vital for you and your partners expectations. Partners should understand when you have work events, family obligations, or other relationships to tend to. If they don’t understand this, their minds will wander. And that only leads to misunderstandings and poor interactions.
Create Consistency
Regular check-ins are a crucial part of making everyone feel acknowledged and part of the greater whole. So check in. Discuss the schedule and what’s on deck. Discuss what the both or group of you want to do. Keep the energy moving forward and progressing. This also serves to keep communication moving along.
Respecting Other Partners Time
We’ve written an awful lot about your time. But what about your partners? They have schedules, needs, energy, and expectations as well. They aren’t likely living in a bubble that has them waiting for you to check in with some time slots.
A significant aspect of time management in open relationships is respecting the time your partners spend with their other connections. This respect fosters trust and reinforces the understanding nature of open relationships.
Sharing Responsibilities
Finally, in cases where partners live together or share domestic responsibilities, dividing tasks fairly can help everyone manage time more efficiently.
Conclusion
Open relationships and time management go hand in hand. They are peas in a pod. Ok, I’ll stop with the flowery language as we’re sure you get the idea.
Time management in an open relationship can help stave off needless arguments by helping all partners to avoid feeling marginalized or left out. Effective time management in open relationships is about finding a balance that respects each partner’s needs, including one’s own. It requires ongoing communication, honesty, and a willingness to adapt as relationships evolve.