The nature of relationships is evolving worldwide. Some of this stems from people’s curiosities to experiment with new ways, while another aspect of this derive from high, expensive, emotionally tolling divorce rates. Traditional couples are exploring dynamic changes in their relationship statuses more than ever. And that’s leading to a whole lot of new open relationships.
Today, open relationships are thriving.
The Motivations
Their are numerous shared and individual reasons why people would desire an open relationship.
Most people think of the physical, or sexual liberation, as the main driver. And while it’s an obvious influencer, it’s far from the only reason.
Couples are struggling these days to meet the demands placed upon them by traditional monogamy. Most monogamous relationships are stifled by a pervasive lack of intimate communications. Couples don’t discuss what they like, or dislike, sexually. And moreover, they lack a higher level of communications about just about anything. For example, finances.
Open relationships may begin with a desire for physical change to meet needs which are lacking, often due to non-communication, but they often evolve into much deeper experiences.
In order to be in an open relationship, you must communicate desires you previously withheld. This has a compounding effect on the overall health of the relationship.
People are motivated to try open relationships because, often, their traditional setup isn’t working. It’s stressful, disheartening, and seeming has no solutions.
There was a time that open relationships were extraordinarily taboo. But times have changed. Hollywood TV shows, movies, and reality shows, commonly make mentions of open relationships even when in jest.
People are always curious if celebrities are in open relationships. At one point, people suspected Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes was in an open relationship (it doesn’t seem to be true). Below Deck Mediterranean’s Natalya confessed to an open relationship on the show.
Even if some of it is poking fun at open relationships, there’s always truth in comedy. And it provides proof to the idea that open relationships have become a part of our culture.
And thus, people are curious, and less apprehensive about moving forward even if to experiment.
The Transition: Monogamy to Open Relationship
In order to transition into an open relationship, you’ll need to start with you. In case you didn’t know, all change starts with you.
While open relationships can save marriages and relationships, they are not without challenges. If you don’t do the work, you’ll fail. Remember, the problem with traditional relationships is that people don’t do the work.
To begin, you’ll need to understand your own emotions and learn to navigate them, as well as communicate them. We’re talking about jealousy, insecurity, and excitement. Its a balancing act that contributes to your personal growth. You’ll need to embrace change.
Understanding your emotions, particularly jealous in an open relationship, is a step towards relationship freedom. You must understand your relationship with jealousy as a priority. If you’re considering your partner’s potential “jealous ways” first, you’re not doing the work.
Its important that you get your own emotional house in order before you attend to anyone elses. And further, they should do the same. Understanding your own apprehensions is the best way to gain insight into other people’s feelings. If you can’t navigate your own emotions, how do you expect to help someone else?
Understanding your emotions, what makes you jealous, what turns you on, what makes you sad, is the gateway to open communication. Its the way forward. Its how open relationships work, and thrive.
Boundaries
Once you’ve navigated your emotions and you feel comfortable expressing them, you’ll need to think through what is that you desire in an open relationship, and what you can embrace from your partner in an open relationship.
This is the beginning of the most important aspect of an open relationship: setting boundaries.
This is why you must navigate your emotions as a priority because it lays the ground work for having conversations about your open relationship boundaries.
You can’t go from a traditional, tight-lipped traditional relationship to having wild discussions about adding new partners to your sex lives. That’s too steep of an incline and it won’t end well.
Instead, you navigate your emotions, decide what you’d embrace, and sketch out your boundaries. And your partner does the same. This is how the conversation occurs.
Open Relationships and Your Social Circles
Once you’ve found your way into a mutual understanding that an open relationship is your way forward, you’ll suddenly realize you have no idea how to handle the social aspect.
Do you hide it?
Concealing an open relationship, or maintaining privacy, is perfectly fine. But it only works in specific setups.
If you do choose to be “open” about your lifestyle, we have a guide to telling friends and family about your open relationship status. Its a helpful read for those who may end up struggling with how to go about the messaging.
Support and Resources
Open relationships aren’t without challenges. Beyond the honeymoon phase, those in open relationships will need to continue to support one another and do work. Jouning online and offline communities is helpful. There’s many books, podcasts, and therapists who specialize in non-traditional relationships.
Conclusion
The open relationship can be an enriching journey that revives or even saves a traditional relationship from doldrums. There’s great beauty in defining a relationship by your terms. But, like anything, it does take work.